Saturday, 1 August 2015

... i'm back


*clears throat* helllooo!! is anyone out there? 
you'll never guess who's back! (hint: it's totally me). it's only been 343 days since my last post - chances are i'm probably/definitely in the running for the longest blog hiatus award ever or some shit.

FAR OUT a lot has happened in this past very-almost-a-year. not sure where to begin, but the fact that i started drinking coffee somehow seems like a valid place to start (how the heck did i ever survive uncaffeinated??). i started college at a new school which was potentially the best decision i've ever made, leading to some of the most incredible friendships with the raddest group of humans out there. got my first real job at my favourite vegan restaurant. started learning to drive and received a car for my birthday. dropped my iphone in the toilet. got a macbook. experienced my first "proper" relationship of dating my main "high-school crush" for a few months. consequently, also experienced a broken heart. had approximately 287 mental breakdowns and lost my mind twice (jokes aside - mental health is something i possibly would like to talk about on here in the future). hit my one-year vegan anniversary. bought some groovy shoes... just to name a few seemingly "momentous" occasions. (above photos are some selected moments from the past year or so)

so what the &*$% am i doing back here you may ask? who knows to be honest. it was a spur-of-the-moment decision, but i'm working it all out. the last 24 hours have been,,, awakening(??). basically i've been a bit of a walking existential crisis as of lately and i have reached the conclusion that i've just kinda lost myself completely. dwelling on the previously mentioned boy/heartbreaker for SOO far too long + just not having great mental times has left me numb to everything and just utterly lost. my grades dropped and i started skipping classes, i stopped reading, i stopped taking photos, i stopped working out/doing yoga, i stopped playing piano, i stopped writing, i started going to parties and drinking to deal with feeling shitty, etc etc etc. the last few months have just been not super positive and kinda destructive and i've got very caught up in it all, which i think is very easy to do. it's come to the point where i just really need to start actively doing things and making decisions to change all of that. it's not fun having a life that feels like a mess. 

so anyway, i took photos properly for the first time in a long time yesterday and holy heck it felt bloody good to be back behind a camera and taking + editing photos again. actually being proud of/happy with something i've done for the first time in a long time was just this awesome awesome thing and it triggered this need for change within me. so yeah, one of those decisions i've made is to come back here and share stuff, hopefully regularly. everyone says creating is good for the soul and i think maybe that's partially why i've been struggling so much. cravin' some of that good old creating content. don't quite know what the following posts are going to entail or what ya'll can expect, but hey, that's part of the fun, right?

as a sorta side-note/thing that's been bothering me.. i was tempted to delete all my past posts because OH MY GOD do they make me cringe to the max, but as much as i hate them, i've got this strange attachment thing going on and deleting all those memories kinda doesn't sit right with me. SO if you scroll back before this page (which i'm strongly advising against) there are a heap of completely cringe-worthy photos, but hey, that was me then, this is me now. i'm an utterly different person. from here on is what matters.

so i'm back. back to share long, waaay too honest rambles like this and photos i take with you all. hopefully this is maybe a small puzzle piece to the jigsaw i'm trying to sort out.

talk to you soon.
Araina xo

5 comments:

  1. aw i'm so excited about this, i've followed your blog since probs day 1 (like 2 years ago?? how is that possible???) and your polyvore back in the day so yeah i can't wait to see any new content you publish here. and ikr, i made the mistake of looking back at old cringey posts recently and was sooo tempted to delete them all but, you know, it shows progress i guess? anyway, much love xx

    bibli0philia.blogspot.be

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  2. I'm so glad you're back and I can't wait to see what's next :)

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  3. Having you back is a momentous occasion! :)
    go you for bringing the change you desire

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  4. proud of you, hun. i've been following your polyvore and tumblr for.... feels like ever. (creepy? sorry.) three cheers for new leaves and new attempts. we have much in common and i am excited to watch you grow again and again, because we're going to kill it together. much love and support, sylvie xxx

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  5. I'm so glad you're back. You're pretty cool and I love reading your posts.

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